My Husband’s Helper: What That Means


Sometimes I forget.

God has shown me through His Word that He created me to be Andrew’s helper and that I am called to embrace and fulfill that role by His grace. Usually I love helping my husband. It’s the most rewarding thing ever. But here’s the thing: sometimes I forget that being his helper means doing what he thinks is helpful, which may be different from what I think would serve him best. I was reminded of this in a very small way on Friday.

Andrew was busy replacing light bulbs. It was around 7:30 in the evening and I was just getting to supper prep because we’d decided to run errands right after work. I was arranging toppings on a homemade pizza crust when Andrew called to me from the other side of the room. “Sorry, but could you come help me with this?” He was standing on a bar stool, light fixture in hand, needing a fresh bulb. My immediate thought was, But I’m busy being a good wife and getting a meal in the oven so that you can eat as soon as possible. You’re hungry; baking this pizza is more critical than saving you half a minute by retrieving and handing you the light bulb.

I rinsed pineapple juice from my fingers and delivered the bulb. As I returned to my pizza, I realized how I had just created my own idea of being Andrew’s helper and automatically responded with internal disgruntlement when he “infringed” on my plans. (Ridiculous since what he was asking of me took less than a minute.)

It’s a mindset.

While much of what I do ultimately does help my husband, I want to go about it all with the mindset that if he interrupts me with a different request, I will cheerfully allow it to trump the plans I had formed. Being a helper is about what Andrew finds helpful, not what I decide will help him. Although the two often end up being the same, it’s the times when they differ that I need to remind myself of this idea.

Of course, this issue gets a lot bigger than light bulbs and pepperoni…but that particular scenario is an example of what can happen in other mundane moments or on a much larger scale.

Just ask.

If you’re not sure what would help your husband, just ask him. Andrew’s usually glad to give me an objective list and sometimes the items on it catch me by surprise. Choose to find helping your hubby enjoyable and rewarding, no matter how mundane or annoying the task is in-and-of itself.

“And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:4-5)

5 thoughts on “My Husband’s Helper: What That Means

  1. Ruth says:

    I was just reviewing that passage with Samantha this morning. And now am need to go help my husband even though I don’t want to. Thank you for the reminder of what is truly helpful!

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