It’s been a rather draining week. Debbie’s sudden, strange passing brought a lot of tears and more grief than I would have imagined I would feel for her. I did learn from a neighbor that Debbie had a number of friends on our street. Somehow knowing that there were others she could talk to when I had my blinds closed helped lift the regret I was experiencing. Those friends will miss Debbie and her rambling stories and impromptu visits. She was loved and she has left a hole in other hearts besides ours. We still don’t know a cause of death, and may never. That’s okay. God’s helping me let go.
Death brings with it a sadness that cannot just “be fixed”. The night we learned that Debbie had passed away, I turned to two of my favorite Psalms (90 & 91). Rather than bring much felt comfort, the verses about how numbered our days are just added to the pain. I don’t say that to trivialize the power of God’s Word. It was as true as ever and my heart needed a grounded perspective. But even the greatest of God’s truths won’t remove the emotions that come with permanent loss. And I believe that’s on purpose. We experience deep sadness here on earth, but as believers, we do not grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thes. 4:13). When we grieve, it reminds us of the hope we have of a future in heaven. Someday, the tears and sorrow will be over and we will spend all our time rejoicing in Jesus and enjoying His (and our!) perfection. Losing Debbie is just another reminder to me of what an amazing promise Jesus gave me when He saved me. No more tears. Someday, that will be reality.